Ask.

Scrabble letters spell out "Ask for help"

Here’s the not-fun news about having a book coming out: you have to get out of your lil bubbly creative comfort zone and ask people for help. The help that you’re not paying for, but the help that requires people’s time and creative energy. For me, for whom these are my most greedily hoarded resources, this is hard hard hard to do. It’s not my default to ask for things. I always assume the other person will groan inwardly at a request from one more writer coming at them, palm up.

But we all know what happens when you assume, right? At least you military types do. And this is my year to stretch, to connect, to put myself out there. To ask. I’ve read (and re-read) a book called The Aladdin Factor, the premise of which is that if you ask for something and the answer is no, your life has not actually gotten worse. You didn’t have that thing before and you don’t have it now, so you’re right where you started from. This concept has helped me many times over the years. You miss a hundred percent of the chances you don’t take, etc. etc.

Cover of the book The Aladdin Factor, by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen

(And yes, those are the Chicken Soup for the Soul dudes. Just let me like what I like, lol)

So, as I’ve had the spoons for it I’ve been asking for help. I’ve gotten braver as I’ve gone along, culminating in an email to a former book coaching client who’d mentioned in passing that she’s in a writing group with one of the directors of the Documentary, Lioness. If you haven’t seen it, queue it up – it’s the jaw-dropping story of five Army women who were embedded with Marine infantry units during The Surge, well before female soldiers were supposed to be anywhere near the front lines.

Cover art for the award-winning documentary Lioness, about five female soldiers embedded with Marine ground troops in Iraq.

It’s an amazing piece of work, and Daria Sommers, the director/friend of my client, is an amazing human. Just as one example, here’s a piece she wrote for Veterans Breakfast Club about her childhood in Vietnam. Asking Daria to read my manuscript and provide a cover blurb was a major, scary thing for me to contemplate, much less do.

But I asked my client to introduce us and my client said yes, absolutely, so very generously (even though she’s a hyper-busy mother of young kids, and a doctor, and a novelist).

And I asked Daria Sommers if she’d consider reading and blurbing my novel Playing Army (about military women in 1995, with Vietnam in the rearview mirror and US involvement in the Balkans peaking over the hood of the Humvee). And she said yes.

So, gulp. I sent her the manuscript (not even a pretty pdf ARC – just an uncorrected Word document!). And here is what she said:

Hi Nancy -

Wow. Congratulations on Playing Army. I was supposed to //redacted// first but took a look at your first chapter and kept going. I was totally captivated by the character of Minerva, her struggles to grow into her position, confront her ghosts, her relationship with her colleagues/older vets and her family story. Having her father be MIA in Vietnam infused the story with real poignancy. (//redacted// they always give me chills). I loved the immersion into time and place. (I've been to Savannah and Fort Stewart and even filmed a war game there).  Thank you for sharing this special story with me.

Here's my blurb, written to entice readers and give larger context to your meaningful story.

A deeply affecting, nuanced portrait of one woman’s struggle to find herself while serving in the US Army of 1995. Stroer deftly turns the Army’s aspirational ‘be all you can be’ tagline on its head with a feisty protagonist who sometimes awkwardly and often courageously confronts issues of sexism, racism, and leadership shortcomings as well as the painful legacy of Vietnam. Playing Army is a captivating read that serves as a reminder of what has changed and what hasn’t for women in the military.

 

Daria Sommers  Writer/Filmmaker, Lioness



Best,

Daria

My road to publication has been extremely rocky lately, and maybe I’ll write about that (or maybe I won’t). But I needed this validation, y’all. My former client’s and Daria Sommers’ generosity has brought me to my knees with joy and gratitude. How can I thank them for this? Please reply and let me know if you can think of some way I can even begin to repay them for this act of kindness.

The world can be such a kind place. Ask it for kindness. Ask, ask, ask.

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6 Comments

  1. Very exciting news! I look forward to reading your book. What excellent validation for all your efforts!

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